Sunday, April 29, 2012

Mixed emotions...

Very mixed feelings after lunch and gifting at a slum orphanage today with Ayaan for his b'day.You know you're doing it to make him realise that there's a world beyond the life of privilege he's been born into.But I always feel mindfucked with this experience... I found it as troubling last year.
First it feels almost like you're flaunting to the children the fact that others are more fortunate than them.Then of course you tell yourself don't be cynical, at least you're giving them a fun afternoon... food,books, toys.
But that still doesn't shake away that disconcerting feeling of guilt at the sheer unfairness of it all. There's something so dispiriting about a world where an accident of birth leads to such vast inequalities throughout your life... inequality of food,clothes,shelter,security,education... but even worse...the inequality of opportunity and the gradual strangling of hope.
And yes I know that for many people, their opportunities and futures carry more hope than their parents had, but that doesn't seem to really make it okay for me when the gaps between the haves and have nots seem to widen with every passing generation.
I despair and lose hope for any really meaningful change when I am surrounded by apathy, greed, selfishness... whether colleagues, clients, friends...I see far too many people who don't see the world beyond their air-conditioned windows and their bank balances and have zero desire to help create a better,more equal world.
And I feel my own guilt at how little I do.Start a Foundation.And reduce my guilt.And get on with the business of entertainment.What a waste of my supposed intelligence and ability to make so little difference to anyone. And yet,all I do is vent and write and not actually do all that I can.
At some level i must accept that just having awareness and doing a little doesn't make me that different from those who do nothing at all... maybe it's just degrees of apathy. The world needs more Abhi Mehtas and Vishal Talrejas and Aksah Sethis.

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