The unbearable hype of Bandra and Indiranagar restaurants

There was a question that went viral on social media a few days ago about what is your controversial opinion about food... a question that got me thinking. I feel pork fat is disgusting. I feel Italian food is overrated. I feel a Calcutta Kathi rolls beat the hell out of burritos. Speaking of which, I also think most Indian food critics and writers don’t know a burrito from a burrata and only exist because of a shameless capacity for self promotion and a relentless hunger for free food and drink. But none of this is really controversial. At some level most people agree (okay maybe not on Italian food). 

There is one opinion of mine though that people always disagree with vehemently. When I try to talk them through my reasons  it feels almost like some sort of cognitive dissonance kicks in, the emergency button inside the brain circuitry kicking in and flashing lights signal “This Doesn’t Compute”. 

Here it goes...

Bandra and Indiranagar are the two most overrated localities for great food in this country. 

Yes yes. I know the arguments. 

The diversity. 

The vibe. 

The scene.

The options. 

The numbers. 

First of all, quantity or variety have never been determinants of quality. If they were, then buffets would be the pinnacle of fine dining, rather than the place where kitchen leftovers go for a quiet burial, while mummy and papa eat their way to diabetes and cardiac arrests, and Guddu and Guddi remind us why people once thought corporal punishment was a good thing. 

I do have favourites in both localities. Saltwater cafe was home for me, the place where I have a favourite drink and favourite dishes and favourite tables and favourite memories, a place where I started companies and celebrated birthdays, where I have eaten till I was drunk and drunk till I was incoherent. 

Bobs Bar is a throwback to the Bangalore that I used to know and love and mourn (before I realised that it still existed in places like The Local in Kamanahalli). Both places make me happy. Both places serve very good, very satisfying food. But neither place is a destination for “great” food, they are destinations for a great vibe. And great food is not about great vibe. Great food is about great food. 

So look past the optics and focus on the food and how many restaurants are really worth traveling to? Nagarjuna doesn’t count because that’s really Residency Road just like Thai House is Brigade Road and Ministry of Crab is Colombo. Indiranagar even managed to screw up Sunny’s which takes a higher level of skill than you can imagine. Bastian is a case study in the power of Instagram while Pali Bhavan is a master class in influencer marketing. Sequel shows that with enough marketing you can get away selling quinoa that matches the colour of your yoga pants.  But between the lot of them, not one serves great food. 

There is an exception or two of course. Seefah for one. Maybe Izumi? Maybe La Folie for breakfast. At. Jude’s isn’t an actual restaurant that serves food everyday. That’s 1 or 2 restaurants for about a hundred thousand designer bags. 

So if you’re actually looking for great food, you need to go beyond. From Colaba to Kamanahalli, from Babulnath to Malleshwaram... there’s a lot of great food out there. You just need to look beyond the designer hype!